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Jackie and Xochitl

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Swimming with Sharks: How to Deal with a Bully

No doubt you’ve known at least one bully in your life.

Sometimes you can see them for what they are in the moment, and sometimes you don’t realize what they are until you’re licking your wounds. 

I’ve dealt with my share of bullies in my life, and here's what I've learned.

Whether you're the target of a bully or a bystander who wants to be an ally: 

1. Don't take anything personally that a bully says. A bully gets the pleasure of power over you by triggering you and making you feel bad about yourself. Remember that the bully's attitude, words and actions say far more about them than they do about you.

2. Be careful how you assign responsibility for what’s happening. A bully will blame you for their own aggression as if you “made” them behave/think/feel that way. Don’t fall for it. When they succeed in making you examine all the fuzz in your navel for what’s “wrong” with you, they’ve deflected all...

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